I'm usually a pretty bold lass. I've been known to strike up conversations with total strangers I find to be attractive (which is how I met my boyfriend, but in my mind I've reconstructed it so he approached me) and to always say exactly on my mind even if that is a jerking off motion in the middle of a meeting. I don't mind drawing attention to myself and sometimes I mind my manners even less. So, why is it that this past task was daunting beyond all comprehension?
What task you say? Well, it was only an email. But this email, involved asking a girl to be my new friend. It's not my typical M.O. to beg for friendship, but after two weeks and few other promising leads, I'm getting a little desperate. This particular girl, my parent's and my server at the restaurant we went to just after my parents finished helping me move in to my apartment (so, about two weeks ago). That night the kitchen ran out of salmon and our order took forever and we were sitting outside and it started raining, just all bad things. This server apologized and my parents and I after having been dealing with the fucktard movers just laughed and told her that we were having a wonderful, relaxing evening compared to the maelstrom of shit that had been going on the past few weeks. She started chatting with my mom and dad and I, and when she heard I was new in town (as she herself had been just a few years ago) she gave me her card (she was a lawyer on the side--which shows how bad the economy is) and told me to get in touch with her if I needed anything. I understood now, and I understood at the time, that this is what one calls an "empty promise." She was just being nice and polite and she counted on the fact that someone, a grown adult, would never be stupid enough to actually try to cash in the offer. Well, I wasn't stupid enough. But I am desperate for companionship and if I can call her bluff and guilt her into hanging out with me even just once--mission accomplished.
Making new friends without current "wing friends" is next to impossible. Getting dates? Hell yeah, I could go to Barnes and Noble and walk away with some dude's number and a dinner invitation. Now, don't misunderstand, I don't think I'm particularly attractive or even particularly adept at flirting--it's just that easy. Anyone can get dates! But friends? It's not weird to ask a stranger on a date, it's super weird to ask a stranger on a friend date. And it's also much worse to be rejected from a friend date than an actual date. You can rationalize a real date rejection, "he just wasn't that into me" or, "there is no spark, no chemistry". How can you rationalize that someone doesn't want to be your friend. There is only one logical explanation--they don't like you as a human. It's not that they don't want to bone you, it's that they don't want to occupy the same room, breathe the same air, and drink coffee with you. Ugh. Talk about a blow to your self-esteem!
Just like money, you need friends to make friends, and damn it, I am a little in the red as of right now. So, this deficit inspired me to make a bold move. and I kind of hope it doesn't blow up in my face.