Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Exam Stress

I am a morning person.  Nothing makes me happier than getting out of bed, sipping some coffee, and tackling the world.   But I am also a human... so I am also pretty stoked about waking up, realizing I have nothing to do that can't wait, throwing my alarm clock (my cell phone) on the floor, and laying spread eagled, face down, under luxurious blankets.   That's totally what I did this morning.  Then, I woke up, juuust in time for Dr. Phil on the couch.  Top it all off?   Oatmeal mixed with peanut butter and raisins, microwaved to perfection.  This morning I also made war paint with suds from face wash and had a 15 minute snooze-alarm dream I was a disney princess, complete with animation, before I threw the alarm clock as described above.

Exam week ROCKS.  I don't know what people get so stressed about.  It's roughly the same pressure as any hectic week in college, except everyone EXPECTS you to be stressed during exam week, and you only have one test/real thing to do all day.   I'm such a diligent, plan ahead freak that I've done all my studying before the beginning of the week anyway.  So the rest of my time, can be spent as I spent mine today: A Dr. Phil laden morning followed by a trip to Starbucks, small-talk with baristas, lemon-pound cake samples, a quick type-up of a take-home essay (nothing too taxing), and then home again to watch some poor frat pledge on Law and Order: SVU get a frat paddle stuffed up his fudge factory.    Yes, I had to spend 50 minutes of my day writing about social contract theory, but then I got to call my Dad, and hell, my mom too, and listen to them be proud of me for handling the stress of college. It's like warm hugs from Jesus all around.  To round out my exhausting day, I had a Wendy's Chili and then went to ghetto dollar movies with my roommates to see a stoner knight (yes, you got that combo right) movie.   DONE AND DONE.   Oh and I haven't showered or worn makeup today.   I had to think for a hot second whether I even put on deodorant (I did).  But, normal college day?   No makeup and sweatpants means I'm hungover, a failure, and probably only got in because my Daddy knows the Dean.    Exam week?   I'm too burdened by the weight of my own genius to worry about menial things like proper hygiene.  Everyone cuts me slack on exam week.   It's like being Charlie Sheen or the ugly Baldwin brother: no one expects anything of you.

So while my peers are, I don't know, studying,  I'm watching daytime TV and "oh no she didn't"-ing the stay at home mom whose having an affair with the paper boy.  And maybe noshing on some jelly beans.  So as I get ready to enter adulthood, I say this with maturity and poise to all of you that were actually physically or mentally exerted today:  NAH NAH na NAH NAH! 

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