Talents and Virtues

One of my best qualities (not to brag) is the ability to recognize people who are smarter than me.   I know this doesn't sound like it would be difficult, but I have a real knack for knowing when I'm in way over my head and need to call in someone who doesn't often get overwhelmed and retreat to her tub for a bubble bath with a side of vodka. Similarly, I know when someone is interesting and talented and I make it my business to cozy up to them and live vicariously through their accomplishments.  And I don't just mean in my professional and academic life--I do this in my personal life as well.  My closest confidantes are shooting stars.  

Katie, one of my few remaining friends from highschool, has a hilarious blog and is currently living the dream at a prestegious PR firm in NYC where she attends parties with  Loraine Schwartz.   One of my other friends from highschool is a musical prodigy, and I don't mean expert level on Guitar Hero, I mean he composes symphonies in his leisure time.  My prom date speaks 4 languages fluently. My main gay, within two years of taking dance classes, landed a role in "Chicago" and a position at a dance company.   My roommate in college won a legion of awards from the education school.  My other roommate won best female ROTC cadet in two states.   And then there's me...

  I do not possess any of these talents.  But I am really good at surrounding myself with people who do.   Which I like to think is an accomplishment in itself.   Not everyone has a list of friends this impressive.    I like to think of myself as a better looking Gertrude Stein, surrounding herself with the best of the best in art, music, intellectual pursuits, etc.   Or a more apt metapohor, the token ugly chick in a sorority full of bouncy blondes who through a combination of pity and the desire to look inclusive, made it through the rush process.

One of the highest compliments I could ever recieve is when my friends look to me for advice of any kind.   Katie sometimes asks for input on her blog, and I feel like a total rockstar.  Except, I also am selfish, so if I come up with a good idea I want to take it for my less-hilarious blog.  Like I suggested she do a "favorite things," podcast--and now I'm kicking myself because I think I could make that really funny if I say my favorite things are "Coffee stains on a white blouse, a blouse which incidentally pops open at inoportune times" or "using vaseline as lipgloss because Cover Girl wants like 8$ for that shit and you can also use the vaseline for when your nose gets raw from blowing it too much."   I'm like a whiter, skinnier, less omniscent version of Oprah.  

I used to feel really inferior in comparison to my friends, who have gone on to bigger, better things while I stayed in Dayton and got a job.   I get panicky when I realize my only Miss America talent is a sub-par dinsoaur impression, that's only funny because I am so committed to making people laugh I put all pride aside.   But, I am proud of my friends and only slightly jealous--but hopefully sometime soon I'll do something kind of cool that my friends can brag about and take undue credit for.   Just like I do for them.