Tuesday, November 1, 2011

D. I. V. O. R. C. E.

Ok, you get 1,000 points if you recognize the Dolly Parton song title refernece, if you don't, no worries, it just means you're not a middle-aged woman like I am.

So in one of the most shocking bits of news I've ever heard, Kim Kardiashian and that smug-looking no-name dude she married are splitting up!   Now, I am not a huge fan of the Karashians, but this shakes me to my core.  I called my parents (happily married for 33 years) after hearing the news just to make sure their union was in tact--I mean, if Kim Kardashian can't make it work after a mere two months...what can I believe in anymore?!

Just kidding.   I totally called this.  So did everyone else in the world.   Clues?  Well, the E! Special "Kim's Fairytale Wedding," is probably Exhibit A.   Oh, and the fact that there was an E! Special.   But, if you haven't watched it--I envy your ignorance.  I watched it just this weekend in Baltimore, and let me say, I felt significantly stupider afterwards.  But, I also feel like if I were a divorce attourney I would have started making some courting phone calls to the K-dash clan immeadiately after viewing it.

  Highlights include Kim rolling her eyes and saying, "Tots," when her future groom asked if she was excited about getting married.   I can muster up a little more enthusiasm for my morning egg-white sandwhich from Tim Hortons.   Other clues?   The groom's declaration that he felt like a "road block" in the way of Kim's perfect wedding.  Which, I have to say, is very perceptive for a guy who looks like he might get confused following an episode of Law and Order.  Also perceptive, when Kim said she didn't come from "Yee-haw, Minnesota," as did her hubby (which is cute, because assumably that means she got it confused with Alabama, Texas, or Kentucky, all of which are border states) he snapped back, "Four years ago you were folding clothes in the Valley!"  Burn. 

So let me just say this--are we still concerned about the institution of marriage being depreciated by gay couples?   Really?!  I think Kim's ridiculous Princess Jasmine head-piece is about a thousand times more damaging to the sanctity of marriage.  Which is not even to address the deeper issue, that people feel their personal relationships can in anyway be affected by anyone else's--yeah, the fact that Sir Paul got remarried is really messing up my relationships.  C'mon. Although I will say, I spend a lot of time with couples in my life, especially since most of my work friends are married, and I see how this can seem like an indication that nothing lasts anymore.  Oh wait, no it's completely not, because amazingly, none of them have divorced because Senorita Sex-Tape did.  So, while I acknowledge that in writing a blog I am actually bringing yet more attention to this turn of events, can we all just cluck our teeth and say a collective, "we told you so, Kim" because I really just am over pretending to be surprised or distraught about this. 

That head thing looks ok...
But, uh oh, Kim... looks like someone else is wearing your outfit!

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