|You remind me of the babe....What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of vodoo. Who do? You do! Do what? Remind me of the babe.|
Today is my last day EVER of class in college. EVER. Yesterday was my last day of work at the Honors Office... where I've worked for the past four years. The times they are a' changing (Bob Dylan reference, its like mad libs for classic rock songs). And I'll spare you my angst about it all, "Who am I? What does it mean? What's my purpose in the world?" Blah Blah Blah. How cliche. I don't want to be the sad slow music scene in a rom com followed later by a "trying on different outfits" montage scene while I dress for an interview at my dream job, which I then land but it's not what I expected and I have to make tough choices but there is a sad-eyed cynical dude mail clerk who believes in me and helps guide me through it all. Wow, maybe I should look into a career writing romantic comedy scripts, because that sounds like a pretty decent plot. It could be called, "Please Mr. Postman," and Katherine Heigl and Patrick Dempsey would star. I digress...
|Hollywood has taught be anything? Makeovers make you a better person.|
The Honors office is throwing me a "goodbye" party, complete with white cake, my preference over chocolate. I'm not going to miss the mindless hours of shredding that remind me of the Nixon White house, or the times I tried to look busy but was only looking at pictures (of myself) on facebook. I am, however, going to miss Jill telling me that my outfit is "sharp" or Ramona and I ranting about Glenn Beck. I will miss Dr. Murray giving me brain-teaser toys to play with and Dr. McCombe challenging me to identify the top-ten singles of all time, then berating me for my "angsty youth attitude" when I pick "Smells like Teen Spirit."
Also, college has been a blast. I am the girl that says, "that's what she said," in class, publicly, in front of 35 strangers, or the girl who earnestly suggests that maybe the solution to Social Security is to send all those over sixty out on ice-floes. College has been an excellent forum for me to shock my peers and amuse myself, which I will miss, because I'm told that in the real world if you say, "Professor, in summary, you're arguing that Hitler got his balls in a vice," you kiiiiiiiiiiiinda get fired. In college you're colorful and full of youthful creativity, in the real world, you're an enemy to the bottom line. Which speaking of Hitler, doesn't the "bottom line" sound OMINOUSLY like "the final solution"? Not, obviously comparing the corporate America to the holocaust, but uh, isn't the imagery of increasing profits maybe a teeeensy strong? I digress....
Nonetheless... it's time for me to turn and face the strange, c-c-changes... but I'm realizing, as much as I've PWC'ed (see my previous blog for a translation), I've enjoyed what college was. And I'm going to enjoy what my future will be. Holy fuckballs, if that isn't a brilliant line for a rom com, I don't know what is!