Thursday, April 14, 2011

Marriage Advice

Firstly, calm down.  I am not bestowing marriage advice.   I am uniquely UNQUALIFIED for such a task (really, just ask my boyfriend).   Instead I'm merely relating how my Thursday morning began--a Q and A session with my Christian Marriage Professor's wife of 36 years.   Why, you might ask, am I taking a Christian Marriage class when I am a) not married  b) not engaged and c) not particularly interested in getting engaged or married in the very near future.   The answer, oh perceptive observer, is that I want to graduate college, and I needed a religion course, so I picked the softest, fluffiest one I could find.

Anyway, I'm kinda feeling like a terrible person as far as relationships are concerned, because due to a toxic cocktail of job stress, roommate stress, and pure, un-adulturated crazy, I may have been a teensy bit irrational and unfair toward my bf recently.  So, here I am, sitting in class this morning thinking, "wow, this wise older women will impart her relationship advise, and this will be a learning experience."   Oh no.  I swear sometimes, there must be a "Get Annie" focus group sponsored by the Universe.  So a question like, "what do you do when you have a fight?" is answered with, "Well, Bill and I never fight," and "how do you deal with small annoyances?" is dismissed promptly with "Bill never annoys me."  Great.  Obviously, your relationship is perfect and you are a better human being than me. Lessons learned?   Annie will soon have a very meaningful, very loving, very productive relationship... with a house cat.  Obviously, felines being the favorable option for bitter, harpy, shrews who are disqualified from human interaction.

So, while I am using hyperbole, I think this provides a meaningful glimpse into my life.   When I wake up in the morning, self-critical over the way I handle relationships, the universe puts a strobe light to my inadequacies.   So, for all those who have felt like this, that the Universe is out to get you, that just when you're down something comes to remind you that as down as you are, you actually should be feeling worse... I salute you.   Soldier on, my fellow drones.  As Katy Perry says, "Baby, you're a firework."  Also, remember; no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse. See?  Who says I'm a pessimist?!

Me, in five years


  1. Hilarious....hope you don't mind that I am reading these.....

  2. of course I don't mind! Positive feedback on my lunatic rambling is always welcome!