Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Why can't we be friends?

Rest assured, for someone in my station, it's important for me to surround myself with people who like me genuinely and aren't using me for my connections.   Especially since, my connections exhaust themselves just shy of allowing me free refills at Starbucks even though I live there and know all the "baristas" by name and know also that they're called "baristas".  So basically anyone "using" me for that is aiming too low and probably is too much of a bottom-feeder to be my friend anyway.  But anyway, since my last two entries were odes of sort to my family, but just as man does not live on bread alone, Annie does not live by family alone.

My cup runneth over...

So, after a disastrous interview yesterday, in which I had to take a "logic and reasoning test" complete with sequences of letters that I was meant to see a pattern in, but since I'm DYSLEXIC it was a little difficult.   Also for this test I had to solve algebra problems.  It was like they called my high school teachers and asked which classes I sucked at.  Sorry, at which I sucked.  But anyway, I won't get a call-back from that job and I was bummed, so I needed to run off some stressed-out failure karma.  For that, I consulted one of my best buddies (and CERTAINLY my best workout buddy), Allie.   We ran and then she kicked my ass, or more exactly my abs, with this crazy, sadistic crunch-set.   Then we went to Kroger and bought granola.  Cool story.  Sorry, my point was, I can always turn to Allie, and she's my healthy, responsible friend that makes me work out.  But I have friends of all varieties and if Allie is my "healthy" body and mind friend, Katie is... well words can't really describe Katie.  But...

An actual file photo of me taking the "logic and reasoning" test 

Over Easter break I spent a lot of time with Katie, who I love totally and completely (mainly because she reminds me of myself and I'm egotistical like that...but nonetheless).  So totally and completely do I love this woman, that if I were even thinking about giving up on romance and giving into a tragic celibate lifestyle, I'd want to share it with her.   I'd call her up with a tempting offer somewhat like, "Hey Kate, You.  Me.   Spinsterhood.  In?"   I try to make my blog funny, but hers is way funnier than mine, and when I read it in class instead of doing whatever I'm supposed to be doing (I don't know, like, maybe, listening?), I snort and laugh and then have to pretend I'm coughing.  I'm pretty sure some people in my classes think I have T.B. because of this.

 So anyway, after yesterday's failure at being logical and reasonable (or just at retraining information from high school level algebra), last night I was in my typical state of P.W.C., which is an acronym I just made up, that means "Piss, Whine, Complain" and Katie sent me text messages.  But, and this is why I love Katie, her text messages instead of containing comforting platitudes (which don't work on me) were gems like, "I am not wearing undies and this shirt is see-through, Starbucks here I come," and, "I'm sorry.  But I'm going to be honest with you, the entirety of that conversation I was on the toilet losing a battle with my intestines."  Win!  How could I be blue when those little golden nuggets are coming through space to my phone?
Katie Rocks!

Also, I had drinks with my friend Chris last night.   We discussed the finer things in life, like how his brother-in-law's acting tape is tragic because his voice is high-pitched and feminine, how much we miss Zima, how the men on "To Catch a Predator" always bring wine coolers and condoms and then pretend they weren't trying to seduce children, and finally, how the old host of "Family Feud" was a total alcoholic lech that shouldn't have been allowed on TV, or near parks and schools.   You know, finer things.   He also ordered a well-tequila, neat.   Classy.   Seriously, who are these people I hang out with?!  And how could I have any more fun?   We also discussed briefly how he is currently working on photoshopping an iguana to look like Japan for Graphic Design class, and this again, made me laugh loudly, then snort, then try to cover it with a cough.  Seriously, I really think people are going to start avoiding me for fear of catching my case of Whopping Cough since I'm not smooth as this cough cover deal at all.

And to round out my friend-filled Monday, I went over to the lovely ladies of House 39.  I was happier thanks to the drinking and the stench of shame was almost off me.  BUT after a few conversations about Midge being a silly, chubby, baby and Jacqui being a silly, chubby adult...I was restored to full Annie happiness.   Its great to have friends.

No comments:

Post a Comment